North Korean Hackers Reportedly Stole $88,000 In Bitcoins Which I'm Pretty Sure Means They Didn't Steal Anything

Mashable- Hackers in North Korea have managed to steal about $88,100 worth of bitcoin — about 73 bitcoins now — between 2013 and 2015, reports Radio Free Asia. With much of its economic channels under sanctions by the U.N., the untraceable digital currency provides a way for the reclusive dictatorship to bring some cash into its gates. Hackers took roughly 40 million won ($35,416) worth of bitcoin after Seoul shut down the joint industrial zone at Kaesong, Choi Sang-myong, a senior official at Hauri Inc., was quoted as saying. Hauri is a South Korean cybersecurity firm. “Cyber-criminals have turned to bitcoin for money as it is very difficult to track them down,” Choi said. “North Korea [has] jumped on the bandwagon of bitcoin extortion since around 2012.” The country’s hacking network is immense — South Korea estimates there are 1,7000 hackers aided by 5,000 trainers, supervisors and others. The hackers usually work abroad, in China, Southeast Asia and Europe — and the country has begun to employ ransomware in a bid to obtain bitcoin, according to the New York Times.

So they didn’t steal anything? That’s my main takeaway from this story. I’m still convinced that bitcoins are just fake money. Weren’t bitcoins supposed to be the next big thing a few years ago? And then everyone realized that bitcoins have no value? Pretty sure that’s what happened. Here’s the thing though. I guarantee Kim Jong-un views this as a huge success. The people around Jong-un for sure told him that these bitcoins made them the richest and most powerful country on planet Earth. You can honestly just claim you have a bunch of bitcoin money and no one can refute it. Here watch this. I’ll do it right now. I am a billionaire in bitcoins. I’m a billionaire now. Three Comma Club mother fuckers. I’m a bitcoin billionaire who owns a stable of unicorns. No one knows the truth cause no one knows how bitcoins work. So North Korea can keep hanging their hat on this bitcoin money but I just want them to know that I know that they know that $88,000 in bitcoins is as good as zero dollars.